To the heart struggling with comparison,
I see your agony.
I hear your cries.
I know your stories.
They're almost the same as mine.
I was 5.
All I wanted to do was play.
But, I guess my mother wanted a child that could sit quietly for long.
"Can't you be like X? He's quiet and always in their house.”
I was 10.
All I wanted to do was read.
But they keep telling me,
"Life is not all about books.
See Y, she's younger than you,
Yet, she can do this, she can do that.
Can't you be like her?"
I was 15.
I didn't know what I wanted to do.
But then, I saw J and K living their lives,
And I thought, "I want to be like them, I can be like them."
And true to my words, I became them.
I'm now 20.
I’m trying so hard to find myself.
But it's very difficult to do so.
How can I find myself
When I’m lost in the crowd of all the people you’ve tried to become?
It's like finding a needle in the haystack.
Almost impossible.
“Who am I?”
I ask over and over again.
To the heart struggling with comparison,
The One who made you has the answer to that question.
After all, no one can know what the essence of what has been made,
Except for the One who made it.
Follow the path He has designed for you,
Your answer lies at the end of that path.
To the heart struggling with comparison,
Your life is allowed to be yours.
You're not a failure because you're in a different place.
You're not behind because your timing is not aligned with others’ pace.
To the heart struggling with comparison,
You are YOU.
You were made to be YOU.
The same light you notice in others burns inside you
From the other side, your grass looks greener too.
Hi, my love. How are you and how was last week for you? For me, it was hectic but very productive, especially in terms of creativity. You guys, my mind has been working overtime! My friend told me earlier this week that she thinks my mind is alluring, hehe. Well, what can I say?
I saw this quote that said something along the lines of "You were created to create." If you've been having creative ideas and you've been stalling, this is your sign to start now. CREATE!
Take a minute and say a word of thanks to God for today.
My history with comparison is a very old one and I just can't help it most times, cause that's all I know. For context, I have just one sibling and she's a girl just like me. Me? I’ve had my rebellious days. I think I'm the child that has made out parents worry a lot. My little sister, on the other hand, is like the poster child for obedience and all. I hope your head isn't swelling, little miss? Anyways, all the things that I had to learn by force, my sister did it with joy in her heart.So, you can imagine the constant shades and to be honest, I don't blame my parents. I was really a lot to handle.
I also grew up in a large compound where there were lots of children growing together and I think you should be able to do the maths yourself, hehe. Everybody is trying to know if you’re better than their own child. A competition that you don't even have any other choice than to participate in. As a child, it was quite tiring and some times I'd just think “but, we’re not the same person now.”
The comparison did it's job to an extent, I'm not going to lie, but then, it sort of became an habit for me. I’ve had very dark moments in my head, comparing and contrasting myself with other people nonstop. I get overly competitive too, some times.
During one of the times when I was going through it last semester, I realized that last year, my friend from secondary school graduated from the university and then I realized that my best would also be graduating soon. For a short while, I became sad and I wondered why my journey was slow. I became scared of being left behind and I wondered what will become of my friendship with these people since we're technically not in the same level again.It was in that moment that I learnt that our timelines are very different from person to person and that, God's ways are not our ways.
When I think about it now, there are so many things or people that are in my life right now, that I would have missed if I got what I was looking for, at that time.My path is not the same path as my friends. My friend's season is not my season.Comparison is such a huge disrespect to God because, take a look at the sun, moon and stars. They're all celestial lights and they shine when it's their time. The moon doesn't shine in the morning because that's not it's time. They don't compete or compare, they just shine. That same God created you, a greater light. Why don't you just shine your light? Ehn, fine boy or fine girl?
My love, I have come to realize that my potential is not about being driven by ambition or success; it is about recognizing who I am in God. It's about realizing the gifts and values that God has deposited in my life. My worthiness doesn't come from what's around me or how much I have achieved but from what's within me. It doesn't even matter we have the same level of skills or not because take for an example, my experiences, the places I've been to and the people I've met will obviously influence the way I write and that makes me different from the next writer.
Comparison has to be the root cause of all evil because not only does it steal joy, but it also steals dreams and personalities. I mean, people have pursued careers just because they wanted to prove that they're better than the others. it's really good to admire people and their success but that's where it should end.
This is definitely not me telling you to be mediocre just because you want to be "yourself". Don't go ahead and live an ordinary life because you think you're being yourself. Yes, I know what I think to be an ordinary life might not be ordinary to another person. However, it's quite possible that the image that you have in your head about yourself is not what God has designed for your life. That's why you need to seek the face of God, know His plans for your life and then work as hard as possible to bring those plans to fulfilment.
Galatians 6:4 NLT says;
Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else.
If you're reading this right now, God wants you to know that He didn't create you to be that person you're comparing yourself with, He created you to be YOU. Follow the path that He has laid out for you, even if it seems like you're the only one going in that direction. Lean into your becoming. Trust in the One who holds your future. Your time will come.
Thank you so much for reading, my love. I hope that one day, we'll both be able to look back and be thankful that our story didn't look exactly like that person's own.
Till next week, I love you and God loves you more, bye!❤️
My head is actually swelling, miss😁
Great piece💯😔