People come, people go.
Chickwizz stays.
As September unfolds gradually, we've been reminded of various awareness campaigns and celebrations. We've acknowledged Suicide Awareness and celebrated First Daughters. While these are all important, I'd like to take a moment to appreciate something that brings joy and strength to my life: the beauty of women and female friendships. In a world where women's relationships are often underestimated and believed to be fake, I think it's important to celebrate and recognize the impact that these women have in our lives. For me, these bonds are irreplaceable. To be honest, I can't even imagine my life without my girls right now.
In today's letter, I'm excited and honored to share an inspiring conversation with Lana, a brilliant feminist who is a shining example of unapologetic self-expression. Trust me when I say, with Lana, learning never ends.
I met her in 2020 and one memorable moment still stands out for me. I was waiting for admission into OAU in 2021 and this woman took her time on one random afternoon and explained everything about the school and the course I picked to me. And guess what? I had not even gained admission then! It might not sound like a big deal to you but for me, it was such a sweet thing to do! Our friendship has been more online than physical, but she means a whole lot to me.
Join Lana and I today as she shares her views on the complexities and triumphs of women's friendships and experiences. Just like the last time, our conversation may not follow a traditional interview format, but I really hope you enjoy reading this, ‘cause I enjoyed putting this together.
Women's friendship day was actually last week Sunday and I really wished this letter was ready by then, it would have made a lot of sense. *cries in procrastination and laziness.* Regardless, HAPPY WOMEN'S FRIENDSHIP DAY in arrears to everyone that celebrates!
Hi, my queen, please introduce yourself to our readers.
Jésùmilànàfúnmi Kalejaiye, Lànà to everyone, “my baby” to my man.
What is it like to go through life as a beautiful woman?
It’s tough ngl. Not easy to be a goddess and batman at the same time.😪
WOMEN AND FRIENDSHIPS.
Most women believe that it's better to be friends with men than women. Do you think this is true? And why do you think people have this belief?
It’s not. It has to do with extension of grace. Check it, a woman hurt them once and they they draw up silly conclusions but a man does same and they extend grace like they’re Jesus Christ the III.
What’s something you’d consider unforgivable from a female friend?
Nothing yet tbh. Used to be picking or placing a man over me but I don’t really care like that like that.
Do you have any regrets in any of your female friendships? Maybe a situation you wish you could have handled differently. If so, what are they?
None at all. I don’t have regrets.
Do you have a broken female friendship? What’s the biggest lesson it taught you?
Yes. Lesson learnt? People go, people come, chickwizz stay.
One beautiful experience you have from female friendships.
Okay so one time I was really ill. My friend left her place in road 7 to get me drugs. I was on campus (OAU students will understand this for real).
Make a shout to a special female friend.
Oreoluwa my wife fr. Love her like mad.
WOMEN AND FEMINISM.
As a feminist, can you tell us your beliefs in just a simple sentence.
I’m an advocate for women’s rights, wrongs and everything in between.
Do you have any personal experiences that shapened your feminist perspective?
When I was much younger, people used to come for marriage counselling and all that, the things women had to endure changed me. Like, all this? and you’re still married?
Does a feminist have to be female?
Yes. Men CANNOT be feminists, only allies.
Do feminists hate men?
I can’t answer for everyone.
Simple acts of feminism that you've done.
Really can’t remember any right now.😭
Give us one subtle sign of internalized misogyny.
“my gender”.
A feminist once said that, one of the problems she had with religion is that she couldn't stand a God that doesn't love women. (That's not exactly how she said it tho.) Anyways, I don't think that's true because the bible teaches that man and woman are created equally in the image of God and together have dominion over the earth (Gen 1:26–27). Their equality is not limited to spiritual standing before God, but applies to their dominion over the earth. Also, in a society that regarded women as less intelligent and less moral than men, Jesus respected women’s intelligence and spiritual capacity, as is evident in the great spiritual truths he originally taught to women such as the Samaritan woman (John 4:10–26) and Martha (John 11:25–26).
I'm of the opinion that man himself might have created all these patriarchal standards, what do you think about this?
Hm, the bible and Feminism.
Jesus was a defender of women’s rights, that, I know. That’s what’s important to me, other prominent figures (PAUL) may have been staunch misogynists but like I always say, cherrypick parts of the bible that suits your beliefs. Everyone does that.
Hypothetically speaking, my friend is confused about feminism, she's scared, she doesn't want to be called a witch or a bitter woman. What simple advice can I give her?
If what is going on in the world today cannot radicalise you not to give a f**k about men’s opinions. There’s nothing I can do.
WOMEN, SELF ACCEPTANCE AND BODY IMAGE.
How do you practice self-care and self-acceptance in your daily life?
I don’t. I barely like myself tbvh.
What role do you think social media plays in shaping women's body image and self-perception?
You know the talks of a perfect figure, yeah those, I don’t know how to put it but it’s ruined a lot. Everyone feels they should have one kind hourglass shape.
Do you think we can fully shift the focus from physical appearance to inner qualities and strengths?
No, we can’t.
What message would you like to share with women who may be struggling with their mental health or feeling overwhelmed because i honestly feel that sometimes, societal expectations have effects on our mental health?
We’re all in this together. Just learn how to place yourself above others. The only opinion of you that should matter is yours.
WOULD YOU RATHER!!
Would you rather have a private jet for a year or a personal assistant who takes care of all your daily tasks?
Personal assistant oh but does the daily test include mental breakdowns? and random anxiety attacks?
Would you rather have a million dollars or the ability to make any wish come true?
Any wish come true. I’ll tell my brother to wish for $100m.
Would you rather have the power to change any societal expectation placed on women or have the ability to amplify women's voices and stories?
Change society expectations, we would not need our voice to be loud in certain areas.
Would you rather have the ability to go back in time and meet any influential woman from history or have the ability to meet your future self and see how far you've come?
Meet an historical woman.
FINALLY...
You wrote a piece a long time ago, I really can't remember the whole thing but a line that stood out for me was "not everytime black excellence, sometimes black mid". I always remind myself of this line anytime I feel like i'm being too hard on myself. Could you please give my readers and I another profound advice like this?
Let’s see, do I? I have a lot😭😭
“We have to choose if we want to live or die. Whatever we choose, let’s do it. Do it with our chest.”
This has been my driving force. Since I’ve not decided to kill myself yet, I might as well make the best out of it.
“Limit your extension of grace, you’re not Jesus”.
It’s self explanatory.
Thank you so much for your time, Lanafunmi. Would you like to share your socials with my readers in case anyone wants to connect with you?
Twitter: @softgirllxnx.
IG: @softgirllana.
I have a lot to say my loveee, but unfortunately I have reached my email limit.😭 We’ll continue this some other time but whenever you see this, make sure you appreciate your female friends today! I know friendship can be hard at times, but let's not think about that today. Today, we’re focusing on the beautiful parts. So, send that text, make that call, tell your friend you're grateful for the gift that is her!
Thank you so much for reading, my loveee. I really hope you enjoyed this!
In this new week, I hope you’ll walk in the consciousness of God’s love for youu and your friends.
Till next week, byee!❤️
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This is so nice and sweet♥️♥️
Cheers to female friendships 🥂🥂♥️♥️