Dear November.

18/30!

I think I'm not good at comforting people.

Yeah, yeah, a few people have told me that I say the right things when it matters but still, I worry that my words or actions aren't enough to ease their pain. What I think I'm genuinely good at is listening—just being there while they share their thoughts and emotions, even when it means sitting in silence as they cry.

Listening comes naturally to me, but I always wish I could do more. I wonder if there's something I could say or do to make them feel truly understood and supported in those moments. I believe letting someone be vulnerable without judgment is important, but I sometimes wish I could reassure them in a way that leaves no doubt about my care.

Someone once told me that comforting isn’t about taking someone’s pain away but rather showing them they don’t have to bear it alone. That makes sense to me, yet I sometimes struggle with feeling inadequate, as though I’m supposed to 'fix' what they’re going through.

This feeling of inadequacy makes me question whether I might have a savior complex—wanting to take on more responsibility for their healing than I can or should. I’ve read that a savior complex is the need to fix others’ problems to feel valued, and I wonder if my urge to "do more" stems from this.

This is just something I thought about today. What do you think? Do you always want to carry people's problems and throw them into the sea? Or you've learnt that you don't need to solve their problems to make a difference and that you being present is enough?

And, my love, how was your day?