Dear November.

25/30.

I can't even put my thoughts together and that's why I've not been writing to you. I even started a few times, but I gave up.

My brain has gone into full “panic” mode and I've been scared so many times in my life but it's crippling this time around. These days, God has been emphasizing to me is that fear makes us an easy prey for the enemy. But how can I not be scared, when everything is starting to look like the weapon fashioned against me?

Isn't it funny and ironic that I'm listening to Judikay’s No Weapon as I write this?

Pharmacy school has been overwhelming in ways that I didn't even expect at all. People have been weird and that's even a big headache on its own. Like, can't you just be normal?? Life is hard enough.

There's also this fear of the “big age” I’m turning. The amount of “you don old o” that I heard today ehn? 😔 I’m just a girl, nau.

Despite all this, I'm just grateful for the gift of men and this my Substack. I said it a few days ago that, every other thing in my life might be shaky at the moment, but my Substack is grounded on The Solid Rock, like mad. I was in soap making class on Friday, when someone walked up to me and told me she loves my letters so much. It was such a happy moment for me. I needed that so much.

Just like my friend said, this is the time to have hopeless faith. The time to know that, God is the only way out. Not our efforts or smartness, can save us this time around.

You know, I feel like if I was God, I'll probably be giving me a knock on my head everytime. Cause why do I have to be reminded of this everytime? I’ve seen God at work countless times, even in my life, but small challenge like this? I don panic.

Me and the Israelites that year, no difference at all, and it's not nice at all. Ko da rara.

Regardless, as I navigate these uncertain waters, I'll hold onto faith, hope, and the reminder that no weapon fashioned against me (even if it's pharm chem and pharmacology) shall prosper. I know God will teach me and help me to trust Him more.

You’ll hear from me tomorrow, my love, hopefully!