Currently...II.✨
I am.exhausted but God will carry me.
If God carries the weight of the whole world upon His shoulders, how can He carry me? Will there be enough space for me? God has way too much important things to attend to now. It's just like asking Dangote to help a baby hold her barbie doll while he's going to his business meetings and all.How does that sound to you? Even you, you can't carry more than two bags on each arms. So what do you mean by, God will carry me? Me? With my anxiety? With my insecurities? With my anger issues? I'm not sure God wants to carry a ticking time bomb oh.
If He carries the weight of the whole world upon His shoulders, I know for sure that He will carry you. How heavy are you, that He cannot carry? Look at the birds and flowers, He takes care of them by Himself. Tell me, are you not more special than they are? You that He created in His own image. A father will never be too busy carry His own child. Fathers are usually busy? See, God can act as both a father and a mother. He has no limits, have you forgotten? He said it Himself that even to your old age and gray hairs, He is he who will sustain you. He has made you and He will carry you; He will sustain you and He will rescue you.(Isaiah 46:4)
Have you ever heard people say "this person carried the movie ?" Do you know what it means? Anyone capable of carrying a movie will make a bad movie watchable with their acting performance or make a good movie great with their performance. God carrying you means He's in your story and He's going to make that story a beautiful one, even if it doesn't look like it at the moment. Your suffering is also God’s suffering. He suffers alongside you. Yet he does not always simply remove suffering from your life; he sometimes uses the bad things that happen to bring about his good purposes. He won't even let you stress or worry about anything. This doesn't mean that you don't have any role to play in your life but it means even when you're doing these things, you're doing it with God's strength!
Sin is the only reason He won't carry you. You won't carry a child that has messed himself with urine or poop so closely no matter how much you love him. Do away with sin and He will carry you!
If He carries the weight of the world upon His shoulders, He will surely carry you.
His arms are wide open, just lean on Him, He will carry you. You're that important.
Hi hi, my love. How are you doing? How was this week for you? Honestly, for me, I couldn't just wait for this week to end. At this point, I'm just looking forward to going home.
One question I've been asking myself these past few days is “do you actually love this your life even if it kills you?”. I remember saying something like this in my last currently letter. I'm definitely not taking my words back but omo, this my life don pass my power.
I have so many things that I'm involved in right now and while it's a good thing ‘cause it means I'm finally coming out of my shell, I just can't help but wonder if I'm doing too much. A part of my mind is telling me to just withdraw and go back to my former self.
Right now, I'm tired and burnt out. I think all the stress from that exam period has finally caught up with me. My body system has decided to be my biggest opp and I really don't know what to do. I think I might be a little bit homesick. I'm so overwhelmed and the littlest things move me to tears. I'm hyperfixated on something at the moment and it's draining. It's making me unproductive. I’m very unmotivated and I just want to sleep for five months.
Slesp deprivation is after my life and it's making me very irritable. Funny thing is, it's not that I'm not sleeping at all. It's just that I've become a very light sleeper that the slightest noise or light disturbs my sleep. I don't know how that happened but I just know this place is doing something to my whole body system.😔
I'm not as consistent as before with my bible study and devotion and it's giving me serious headache. I've stopped journaling again. I think I've realized that, for me, there are seasons when I actually NEED journaling. I was actually consistent for monthsss and based on my history with consistency, you people should clap for me. I started journaling during the long vacation last year, mostly because I was bored and I wanted to make a DIY journal but then life happened and I actually had something to write about. It's not like I've gotten over the whole thing but I feel like I can live with the grief for now. I'm just so silent in my head right now and I have nothing to say/write. Definitely feels like the calm before a storm but we'll see how it goes.
The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience.
I was going through my notes app and i saw this quote. It sort of calmed me down and made me realize that I need to chill. I think I should reduce my thirst for excitement. I need to accept that bad days don't necessarily mean it's a bad life. It's a phase and it’ll pass.
It hasn't been all that bad. I got reassured about God and His presence this week. I'm not going to say more than this for now, but God is good and very much alive. I had an assignment from one of the committees I’m in and I think, it's safe to say I ate with it. I think this season is a season of learning. I learnt the importance of being able to just quietly observe and derive information from your surroundings. I’ve had to learn that some narratives that I have about certain people aren't real and it might have been my fears lying to me. They're just in my head. Once again, fear is a very nonsense thing.
Currently, life is doing it’s thing and I've decided to stop struggling on my own and just let God carry me. I’m reading hunger games and it's such a good read! I'm anxious and frustrated about a few things but I can listen to AEO, so life’s not that bad. Overall? I'm exhausted but I'm basking and resting in the love of God. No shakinggg!
I hope next week comes with so much peace and love. I pray God will carry you throughout the coming week and for the rest of your life.
Thank you so much for reading. Don't forget to like, comment and share with your friends. Till next week, I love you, byee!❤️