My love,
I feel like Job right now. Yes, that same Job you’re thinking of—the “what I feared the most has happened to me” guy. In fact, that’s the exact thought that’s been replaying in my head all day.
But before I give you the full gist, how are you? How was your week?
Mine? Well... it’s been me trying really hard not to panic. And please, let’s not even talk about how I had to use my own money to pay for a broken glassware that was already clearly cracked when I got it from the lab attendant. Well, one funny incident happened. Someone stole my bucket and returned it the next morning. But she didn’t just return it—she wrote “WEREY” on the bucket. Till now, I’m still trying to figure out the thought process behind that act, cause as how now?
Honestly, this third year of Pharmacy school should’ve been titled “Things I Never Thought I Would Do or That Would Happen to Me.” At this point, I think it’s safe to say life beat me 100–0 this session. But the one thing I’m grateful for? God always came through with the slickest comebacks.
Funny how it’s all wrapping up in just three weeks. Three! Woah.
Also, writing on the computer feels like punishment right now. Just these few paragraphs and my hands are already cramping. Chai. You people should really put my benefactor—my daddyyy—in your prayers oh, because my story must change this holiday. Amen?
Anyway, back to why I feel like Job.
Someone is probably thinking, “Why is this one being dramatic again?” But I promise you—I’m not being a drama queen.
I don’t know if anyone remembers me saying in one of my older letters that the one thing that almost stopped me from starting Pieces of Chloe was the fear of running out of things to write to you about. Well, ladies and mentlegen, I’m not exactly excited to say this, but... I think I’m running out of things to write.
runs and hides in twoglazzes
Okay, that was a lie. No fear. God forbid sef.
My actual problem, my love, is expression. Finding the right words has been hard. My head is full of ideas, that’s not the issue at all. That’s why I even had the boldness to say in my last letter that you’d get five more letters before June ends. This same me hasn’t written, or even tried to write, since Sunday. All I can think of is my exams, and executive dysfunction is doing its own thing too. I just can’t bring myself to slow down and organise my thoughts.
And you see… slowing down, calming down. That’s exactly where the problem lies and it’s not just about writing. It’s the same thing with God.
I’ve been thinking lately—maybe the reason our relationship with God starts to feel somehow in certain seasons… is because we don’t slow down. We don’t find it easy to calm down with Him. We rush into prayer, rush out, rush into the day, rush into the next thing, and then wonder why we can’t hear Him clearly. It’s like how I want to write these letters without sitting still long enough to organise what I really want to say.
See, if I’m being honest with you—my greatest fear has never been running out of ideas. It has always been growing far from God. Cause if I should, the way this well will dry up so fast ehn?
But this season… this fast-moving, heavy, crowded season I’m in… it’s starting to feel like that. Not because God moved. But because life did, and I’ve been trying to keep up instead of slowing down to stay with Him. I also forgot something important:
That no matter how fast life moves, God is always ahead. Never behind. Never catching up. Just… waiting. Calling. Steady.
Remembering this made me realize that staying with Him means I don’t have to stress myself in catching up with life. I mean, if I’m in or with Him and He’s ahead, doesn’t that mean I’m ahead too? God maths, hehe.
So today, I’m learning—again—to pause.
To be still.
To come back.
One small moment at a time.
“In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.”
— Isaiah 30:15 (ESV)
You should too.
Life gets very fast-paced at times, in fact, it rarely ever slows down. But even then, if you can just stay still with your Father in heaven, you wouldn’t have to use all the strength you use in trying to keep up. Because He’s not asking you to outrun the pace of life. My love, He knows you can’t.
He’s simply asking you to sit with Him, bask in Him, and let Him carry what you keep trying to hold on your own.
With that being said, I’m not so sure if this is the month I’ll complete Onyinye. You’ll get other letters, trust me—but for Onyinye? We’ll see how it goes.
Thank you so much for always reading!
Please, don’t forget to share biko, our views have dropped so much. We can always make a comeback, I’m sure of that one! So, share this letter as much as you cannnnnnn!
I hope that in the coming week, you’ll remember to stay still!
I love youu and Jesus loves you even more, byee!
I was just reminded of that verse—“Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10). And see ehn, as much as God is omnipresent and can be experienced anywhere, there’s something about stillness. That’s where the deepest encounter lies.
It’s in that basking, in that letting go, in that quiet surrender... that He shows Himself in full.
Why do you think so many people first heard God clearly in the bathroom?
It’s not deep. They were just still.
We just need to be still, my love.
He’ll take care of the rest.
Luke 1:37- “For no word from God will ever fail”
No matter fast the driver is,the vehicle runs up ahead.
Riding in him is riding with him which is for him and it’s best ride you’ll ever get on