Better to bend.

Than to break.

I was in the middle of writing this letter, when my friend called me. I could sense that she wanted to talk about something very important, so when she asked me if I was busy, I said no. At that moment, my mind travelled back to last week when I was talking with my friend and he asked me "what does it mean to love someone?" I thought for a little while and I answered, "compromise".

Everyday, I thank God for the kind of people I'm surrounded with, because this my friend, during the course of that conversation, still found a way to link this compromise thing to God's love. He said, "God made the biggest compromise for us by saying all we had to was believe" (I'm not sure if this was how he said it exactly, sorry but my memory is bad.)

I thought that was so profound, because when you think about it, God lowered His standards for us, to an extent.

God literally tells us to come as we are! Hehe, I don't think that was His original plan.

Now, what is Compromise?

According to Oxford Dictionary;

To expediently accept standards that are lower than is desirable.

Note that there are multiple meanings for this word, but this is meaning I'm going with for the purpose of this letter.

For a very long time, what I've believed to be compromise was, giving things up for people.

However, while I was reading up on what compromise really means, I realized that, when it is true compromise, both sides have to give up something.

So, what have I been doing all this while?

I don't have the answer to this question, yet.

All compromise is fundamentally based on give and take, but I have realized that in the grand scheme of things, there can not always be give and take. In fact, most of the time, one party is the one that's always making the most of the compromise. The other party doesn't even know what the other had to let go.

In our relationships with people, we need to understand that some of us are takers, while the rest of us are givers. Whether you like it or not, my dear, this is how life is. Some of us like to make sacrifices for our faves; we can literally let anything go just to save our friendships, while others aren't just like that.

Honestly, I think that's how life is supposed to be. If you love someone, you should be able to let some things go for them. For example, once in a while, you should be able to let go of your me-time to spend time with your friends. I’ve had situations where I had to cut down in my spending, just because I wanted to get a birthday gift for a friend.

Before someone comes for me, I know.

This is such a slippery slope ‘cause things like this could go wrong in so many ways and most people don't even reciprocate acts like this. I know, my love, I know.

That's where your common sense(sorry, if this sounded harsh) and the wisdom of God comes in. In fact, I think one should even depend on the wisdom of God most times, cause your common sense can be clouded by emotions.

Don't burn yourself to keep others warm. You're not Jesus Christ! Even Jesus gained us by dying for us.

Before they use you, use your sense. 😏 Don't neglect your life, because you want to please your friends oh. Those people are still the ones that'll laugh at you.

Well, not all of them will laugh, some people are kind but some will laugh at you, even in front of you! And they might even say, who sent you to be doing stuff for them at your own detriment?

So, child of God, wise up!

However, know that when it comes to your relationship with God, compromise isn't allowed! God should be your highest priority. Like I always say, anything or anyone lost because of God, is worth it! The people you're compromising your values and beliefs for, they won't do the same for you. So, why should you be the one compromising your faith? My love, spiritual death happens one compromise at a time.

It's better to bend than break, no be for God matter oh. Break anything that has to be broken, when it comes to God! Do it with wisdom, by the way, cause approach is everything in life.

This third year in Pharmacy school has been a lot for me and I'm loosing track of time, cause I have a lot do! But I'm learning that if I really want to do well in all areas of my life, including friendships, I have to properly learn the art of compromise. I think we should all learn compromise, ‘cause if we're not careful, certain areas of our lives will suffer because we have given all our attention to the other areas. To even be able to adapt to changes in life, you have to be able to compromise!

In this coming week, I hope you’ll not let your academics suffer, just because you want to have quality time with your friends. I hope you’ll compromise and compromise wisely.

Thank you so much for always being here!

Till next week, byee!❤️

P.S:If you have any suggestions on what you want me to write on, my email is open! Help me help myself, Biko.