Atychophobia.

John 14:8

Have I not done enough?

Have I not tried enough?

Endless sleepless nights.

Days filled with tears and stress.

"Efforts don't always equal to result".

That's what they say.

Yet, you want me to keep trying.

To keep pushing.

For how long will I keep doing this?

Nothing actually seems to be enough.

Time doesn't seem to be enough,

The days run by too fast and at the end of each day,

The fact that I have wasted yet another day,

And I'm overwhelmed with sadnesses and fear.

Is my future really bright if I keep wasting my days like this?

It's not enough at all to know,

The more I know, the more I realize I don't know.

Some things I know did me more harm than good,

And I was better off not knowing them.

My strength?

Oh, it has never ever been enough.

It's almost like I'm living in a world not designed for me.

I'm living in a world where the littlest things cause me great anxiety.

Do I stop here or do I keep going?

No, I think the right question now is,

“Can I keep going?”

Him.

Him.

Him.

Do you know what my problem was?

It was not being enough, but thinking I needed to be.

There is a wholeness that is found only in Him.

He said it is mine already.

All that I need to do, He has already done.

All that I need to be, He already is.

I have nothing to prove,

No one to impress,

No failures to fear.

No future to plan for.

No, don't get me wrong, I have a future.

He is my future.

I don't have a future if that future is not HIM.

I am the seed,

He is the rain that waters the plant.

I am the bird,

He is the wind beneath my wings.

He is the universe and I am just a star.

See? The worthiness of my being is in Him.

He is the perfection in my imperfection,

And that's why I'MPERFECTION.

You think I'm not enough?

He is enough.

And that's enough!

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Hi, my love. How are you and how was your week? For me? I had a beautiful week. It was unproductive sha but it was beautiful! You guys, I might be surrounded by the most amazing people in the world. These people are just showering me with love.

It took writing a short poem from a prompt I saw on Twitter, earlier this week for me to actually admit that I’m not a fraud and I can actually write well. For months now, I've been struggling with this thing. I’d see prompts and I'll just ignore it just because I wasn't sure of my skills.💀 It's really funny how the enemy plants lies in our hearts and make us dim our own light.

In this coming week, I hope you walk in the realization that until Jesus is enough for you, nothing else, not even you, will be enough.

Phillip said “Show us the father, Lord and we will be satisfied.”

I hope you'll be able to rest in Him and know that even in your imperfection, He had made you perfect. You are enough and you are not a failure.

I love you so much and Jesus loves you moree. Thank you for always reading. Till next week, byee!❤️