400 level?
Been there, done that!
Hi, my love.
It's currently 12:48 in the morning (or night, idk what to call it) and I'm at the laundry room in my hostel. Today's the 29th of May and I can't really remember when last it was that I wrote to you. But I'm starting this letter because I know I'm going to send it out on the last day of this semester. And because I know I'm going to get back on my feet and start writing to you again till the year ends? Amen? Amen.
My exams start next week actually, and I'm very anxious about them. Like I said in my previous letter, depression and executive dysfunction dealt with me a lot this semester, and I just feel like I'm very behind on a lot of things. I'm panicking so much, but at the same time, I'm reminding myself that God cannot bring me this far to now abandon me. Ati o. Ko possible. And the funny thing was that this week was one that I didn't know I'd survive, but look, it's already Friday. If that's not proof of God being in this story, what then is?
I should actually start reading once it's 1:00 AM, but I'm a little bit burnt out. So before then, let's talk about life a bit. I started posting on TikTok and, for someone that's so self-conscious, I'm having so much fun with it. I'm currently learning that certain people in our lives are actually for a particular season, and it's such a hard pill to swallow. These days, I sit back and reflect on how much I have changed as a person and it makes me quite happy and proud of myself. Sometimes (when depression rears its head), I'm not pleased with my life and I feel very unlucky. And sometimes, who cares about being lucky when you have God? Cliche, but trust me.
I love how involved God is in my life sha. I see Him in the little and big details. I realized this week that I can sing much better than I did this time last year and it makes me so proud. Even though I'm not very serious with my training, the little I do is really showing.
Omo, it's 1:04 AM. I need to read! This might be the longest letter you'd read from me yet. Stay tuned, byeee!
Hi, my love.
It's the first of June and happy new month, i guess. The last month ended on a very bad note for me sha. My grandma went to be with the Lord and it was literally the most heartbreaking thing for me. Days prior to that day btw, I was just extremely sad and tired and I cried for hours. It was depression caused by PMS sha, but that didn't deny the fact that those feelings were there. It was such a long week for me and it just felt like the devil was trying so hard to steal my joy. But I have decided that enough is enough.
I started this month with a phone call that was so timely, and the news I got kind of reassured me that God really wants me to be a pharmacist. That's reassuring cause I mean, it's exam period and I'm kinda panicking. But I was reminded this morning of God's faithfulness. And this had me singing hymns for close to an hour. I don't know if I've mentioned it before, but I love love hymns bro. Anyways, that's all for now. Byee!
Hi, my love.
It's Tuesday, 2nd of June and my exams start in two days and I don't feel as prepared as I should be. And guess what? I'm still not panicking. I guess I just want to get this semester over with, one way or the other.
I woke up quite late today, that's because I slept late. And I started my day with T30 devotion. I love it and I love being in that space so much. The praise session was fye and I'm just glad I could partake in it.
I spent a large part of my morning thinking of all the people I owe birthday gifts, btw. I have been so broke for most part of this year that I couldn't get gifts for my friends and it's something that has been weighing on me. Sha sha, I got some lovely ideas and I'm so excited to execute them.
These days, I'm starting to learn that not every act of "kindness" is inherently kind. Some are performative, some have bad intentions hidden behind them, and it's just so scary. Cause why do I have to start trying to read people's minds? Well, thank God for the Holy Spirit.
Um, bye for now?
Hii my love,
It's Day 1 of exams and my Toxicology exam went pretty well. Today started on a rough note, with rumors about unknown men invading my school and all that. I mean, people were awake by 4:00 AM panicking. But it was just a rumor ig? But that happening kind of put things in perspective for me, and I realize that as long as you are in this country, never say it can't be you. Like, anybody is liable to becoming a statistic at any time, and that's the scary part.
It's Day 2 of exams, omo! They used my class to set past questions oh, but as my classmates said, God said "let there be light and there was light!"
Today was supposed to be my inauguration for my appointed position. Oh wait, I didn't tell you guys oh, but I'm the Public Health Director for the second time! Somebody should glorayyyy! Sha, they shifted the inauguration because of the rain.
I made a very cute TikTok today and I felt so proud of myself! Cause for someone that's just trying to get a hold of how TikTok works, I think I tried with that video.
Also, today kind of confirmed my fears about Nigeria. I feel like one person cannot actually solve Nigeria's problems and we shouldn't stop looking for a "Messiah" or "Saviour" in any politician fr. I also think it's kind of mocking that it's these same people that aren't doing right, that are telling us to keep praying. That statement literally ragebaits me man!
It's 14 days to the end of 400 level, and my love, I cannot wait to be done. This year is actually going to go down as my toughest year in pharmacy school. It took that position from 200 level.
Hi, my love.
Today's Monday and the third day of exams. Today's exam was a very dangerous one and I'm so glad that I'm done with it.
Hi, my love!
Its 3:01 in the morning. Today is June 12th (Democracy Day?) but sha I have an SAP exam and to be honest, I am tired of reading. Today, I thought about the fact that I still have two more years in this school and I was actually overwhelmed by the mere thought. Like, when does it end?
But one thing I have realized is that time passes so fast and we wouldn't even realize. Cause tell me why I still have vivid memories from 100 level and I'm entering 500 level in a matter of days. It's really crazy o.
Hi, my love!
It's 1:48 AM, today's June 15th and I just finished writing a letter to someone. I think friendships are actually so beautiful and we don't really pay attention to them. We're in a generation where everybody wants to be in love. And while that is not bad at all, we need to pay more attention to our platonic relationships too fr.
Hi, my love,
It’s 9:27 p.m. Today is the 15th of June, and I just wrote my eighth exam of 400 level second semester. It was Pharmaceutical Chemistry.
Chemistry still gives me a lot of anxiety. I think it’s because of my shaky background with it from the beginning, so every time I write it, there’s always this extra weight in my chest. I did my best today, like genuinely my best, but I can’t stop overthinking what I wrote. I keep going over the questions in my head, wondering if I got things right or if I missed something obvious. But I’ve thanked God, as usual. I’ve handed it over.
What’s really sitting in my mind though is that in two days, I’m going to become a 500-level student. Like… penultimate. It still feels strange saying it out loud. I can still remember 100 level so clearly, and now I’m here. So many things have changed, but at the same time, I still feel like I’m the same person deep down. I’m happy, but it’s mixed. It always feels like that when something is ending and something else is beginning.
I also thought about the fact that throughout this semester's exams, I haven't been able to do a marathon night reading, and it really shows how tired I am. Omo, two more days sha!
Then there’s something else I’ve been thinking about. I don’t like confronting people. I really don’t. So most times, when something hurts me, I just keep it in. And maybe that’s why I sometimes feel like it could be abandonment issues or something like that. Because for me to actually speak up about something already takes a lot. So if I finally do, and the person just dismisses it or doesn’t take it seriously… it hurts more than I can explain. It makes me just go quiet.
And I’ve also been thinking about how selfish people can be. I understand that everyone has to look out for themselves, that’s just life. But sometimes it feels like people only care about what benefits them and nothing else. Like there’s no real consideration for the next person. I’ve seen it so many times and it’s honestly scary. It makes me wonder what the world is becoming, especially if this is what the younger generation is also learning.
Hi, my love!
It's 7:35 in the morning and guess what today is?
Yeah, you guessed right. The day I become a 500-level student!
I remember being in 200 level when our first set started clinicals and they got their scrubs. I told myself that day that my "future ambition" was to get to 500 level and get my scrubs. I guess it's time to set another future ambition like this o.
If you asked me what my hardest level in pharmacy school was a year ago, I would have told you without thinking twice that it was 200 level. But somehow, 400 level took that award. This year has been the most challenging year for me. Spiritually, physically, mentally, financially, and even health-wise, I was shaken and pressed on every side fr. But I'm just glad I made it through to the other side. Despite everything!
One thing I learned in this 400 level was the principle of troughs and peaks. I learned so much that you have to go through the pit before you get to the top.
But this year was kind of a blast regardless! I was Director of Public Health, and I think I did a great job. (And I'm about to do it again? ) I was outside a lot, cause tell me why I was spending hours at the pavilion watching ABUAD football league matches? But it's actually good to go outside and touch grass.
I enjoyed some friendships so much that yesterday, while leaving school, I teared up! How would I have survived without my shaylas fr? And of course, some friendships took a sour turn .
I really wish I could write more, but I fear that I might be reaching my word limit. But you guys, 400 level was such a wild ride! Still, I'm forever grateful for God and people. God, because I could feel His love so many times, and I ask myself why do I deserve this. There were days that I cried and asked so many questions, and He'll just reassure me almost immediately. These last few days, I felt extremely "lucky" that I couldn't believe it.
To the God of my fourth year, I'm forever grateful!
Well, ladies and gentlemen, with that being said, guess who is now a clinical pharmacy student? It's been such a long time coming, and I'm so excited for the journey ahead.
And don't worry, we're back in full force by God's grace! So see you next week!
Byeeee.
I love you!❤️










Congratulations to us! May our clinical years be kind to us🥹
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This was so much fun to read. I could relate so much to the 200 level thing
Worst level for real😭😭