2/6!🥳

Trust in the Lord, peeps.

Hi, my lovee? It's been two weeks, how are you doing? I'm really sorry for disappearing on you without any notice. I thought I could manage my time properly during that exam period but my college had other plans for me. Anyways, I'm back, my fanzz.My exams are finally over and I'm here to let you know that this girl is now a 300 level pharmacy student!

I keep saying that I can't believe it because I really can't. My whole journey has been a proof that God can change someone's life so fast. Your area's transformer no transform life reach my daddy in heaven oh. I literally went from a girl that was struggling to one that's basking and resting in the love of her lord and savior.

Wo, it's such a pity if you're doing life without Jesus.

My second year in uni came and went by so fast, my classmates will disagree but it felt really fast to me sha. It was a year of lessons, growth, love and a whole lot of beautiful things. I loved and learnt love more than ever before. God helped me to love Him, myself and others more, even in times when it was difficult to do so.

I can remember vividly the state of my heart when I was going to school last September to resume in 200level. I had just lost someone very dear to me and coupled with the grief that I didn't know how to handle, I was very worried and anxious about my parents, my mom most especially. I'm not going to say much on this but my heart skipped beats everytime I called home and they didn't pick my phone call on the first. Going back to school in January was even more terrifying for me, 'cause I was going to stay in school for 6 months. I've never been away from my parents for that long and I was so scared, gorsh. There were so many times that I would randomly remember something from home, then I'll feel this very overwhelming heaviness in my heart and I'll just start crying. I'm just really glad God kept me sane throughout everything.

I'm grateful for a lot of things and people this year. I'm grateful for my family. I don't know how they do it but my parents' calls are always timely, always! I'm sooo grateful for my roommates. I've been soo lucky with roommates for two years now and I'm really scared that I might not be that lucky next year. I'm grateful for my friends, I received so much help from people and sometimes, I just wonder if I'm really deserving of the love these people showed me? I'm grateful for that one friend I made this year that became the push I never knew I needed. The only reason I could not sleep for two days was because I saw this person do it. I'm grateful for my coursemates, gorsh. I made a lot of new friends and I got a little bit closer to some people. Without these people, I don't think these past months would have been bearable. I'm grateful for that lecturer that became my friend this semester. Forever grateful for the gift of men, mehn!

I'm grateful to God for the work He's doing in/on my heart 'cause I realized that I was being a little bit judgemental in the way I view people and even myself. I experienced a lot of weirdness from people and I think, I myself was being weird at some point, God taught me that it's okay to give people and even myself chances. I discovered that I might not be as vulnerable as I think I am and I need to learn how to be expressive, first to God and then to other people around me.

I felt a lot of emotions in this 200 level that if I start talking about them, I won't stop writing till next year. I was scared, confused, anxious, sad, tired, happy...I even had a crush on someone and I had no idea on what to do.I was so overwhelmed one day and I said "God, I'd really prefer if I couldn't feel anything." One thing I learnt is that as much as it's okay to feel and we shouldn't invalidate our emotions, we shouldn't let them overwhelm us so much that it would affect other areas of our lives. Our lives shouldn’t revolve around our feelings. Emotions don't have us , we have emotions and that's why we say "I am happy" not "Happy is me".

Another important lesson God taught me this year is TRUST. I think I've said this before but, after I saw my first semester results, I was disappointed. So, when it was time for second semester exams, I was so anxious. I couldn't help but just worry. What if it's the same story? So, for my anatomy exam, I ran on just four hours of sleep for two days and even up till the point of entering the exam hall, I was shaking from fear. I had actually tried all my best for this exam but it felt like my head was empty. I told my friend that I was scared and my heart was beating very fast. He told me to calm down, that it'll be fine. I entered the hall and while waiting for the questions, I just kept saying "God please help me" and God really did! The kind of calm that I experienced in my mind that day, broo!

See, I've actually come to realize that when you trust God, you need to do it wholly! It's not right for you to say you trust God when you've already found another option for yourself. Until it comes to the point that you realize that if God doesn't help you, you don't have any other option, you haven't trusted fully. It's holiday szn for me, I don't know what season it is for you but I hope that you'll trust God and God only. See, He said in Isaiah 26 vs 3 that ‭He will keep in perfect peace all who trust in Him, all whose thoughts are fixed on Him! Let all your thoughts be fixed on Him and from personal experience, I can let you know that the peace that comes from trusting God>>>>>composure. Even when you're afraid and confused, trust Him!

Even when the sun don't shine, I will still trust Him!

Lastly, I'm proud of you, Chloe. I'm proud of how far you have come. I'm so glad that you have allowed God to work on you. I'm so happy that you're now happy! I'm happy that you have finally let go. I'm so so proud of you, my girl!❤️

My four moods throughout 200level. 3rd slide was my default 'cause I was always in shock.😭

Thank you so much for reading this letter, my love. It looks very chaotic to me but I really hope you’ll enjoy reading it. I hope that in this new week, you’ll always remember that you're the visible expression of the invisible God and you’ll do the most amazing things. Don't forget to like, share and comment. Till next week, I love youu, bye!